Yesterday Was Halloween
by tohonomike
Summary: Xander, A Certain Bottle, And Tony Nelson's Halloween is a bit different.


Yesterday Was Halloween Author: Tohonomike Disclaimer: All characters belong to their rightful owners.. Joss/ME character are theirs. The other characters belong to others, and are not mine. I do not and cannot make money off of this, but for feedback, I might come up with something more/better. 

**Warning! Warning! I had an attack of the plot Godzillas! I've taken a farcical show of decades past and I've even made it somewhat serious!**

**Ah! Run while you still can!**

Yesterday was Halloween, and my life is changed beyond all expectations. I had a set of fatigues ready as a costume, and hadn't a reason for checking one of my hidden basement caches of stuff, when I noticed the box up and behind the vent. In it I found a better costume, thinking I'd go as an Air Force Major like Kowalsky or someone on that Stargate show Willow's taping for me on Showtime.

So I took the uniform, decorations and all, and snuck out before the folks could see me. And took an old looking bottle of some type that had been in with it, maybe figuring Giles would know if it was worth something.

"Xander!" the redhead called out, "It's me, Willow!"

"I don't know any Willow, young lady, but there's a lot of crazy stuff happening."

"Xander, quite messing around. This is no time for jokes."

"Why do you keep calling me Xander, my name is Tony?"

"You don't know me? A-and Tony's your Dad's name."

"Lady, I suggest you find cover. It's not safe out here," he added, starting to walk past her, "I'm gonna –"

"No, wait!" she orders, jumping in front of him, but instead of a collision, 'Tony' walks right through her. They're both surprised by the experience. He takes one wide-eyed look at her, and has only one response...

"Jeannie!"

"Master! What's wrong!" a stunning older blonde in a harem girl costume exclaimed, then recognized the airman before her and the red headed girl as well. "Alex! How did you summon me? And wait! Why are you dressed in your father's uniform?"

"Who's Alex, Jeannie?" the young man asked her, confused at her talk, "And what's going on here?"

"Well, ohmigods and goddesses, Alex," the woman realized, her life over the last several decades catching up with her, "Our minds were befuddled by the Powers, and we're on a Hell Mouth!" She blinked, and an even more confused Willow was left behind as the two Harrises disappeared.

Willow froze in shock as the underdressed Mrs. Harris disappeared with her son, but broke out of it as she watched a screaming noble woman rush by, chased not by monsters but little kids in S-Mart costumes shouting about how they wanted more candy and they'd tell the Ferengi on her…

Five minutes later, Willow caught up with the little 'monsters' and a stressed Buffy near the High School, the kids finally giving up as they found their parents waiting. Buffy, outside the doors of the Library, fainted.

"Giles!" Willow shouted, phasing through the doors without effort, "Buffy's outside the door and everybody turned into their costumes. I'm a ghost!"

"O-o-oh, Dear Lord," Giles sputtered, dropping his card catalog drawer on the floor, then watched as Willow disappeared.

Meanwhile, the two teleporters found themselves in their living room, two drunk men in front of the television, one passed out.

"My god, Jeanie," the man who thought he was Tony muttered, "It's me, a fat used up drunk, but me." He turned to the man next to him, "Roger! What's going on?"

"Hey, Xander," Rory Harris hiccupped, noticing the two, "And whoa! Who's the hottie….Jessica, uh, Jeannie, uh, what's going on? Where are we?"

Jeannie blinked, and the living room was suddenly clean, brand new in appearance, and no alcohol was around. They were all seated.

"Uhm, hon, I'm not complaining," the young man began, only to have Jeannie hold up a hand and explain.

"There is some kind of magic, Tony, that has you possessing our son's body," the woman sighed, "And apparently for reasons I'm not sure of, the Powers have us living on the Hell Mouth not knowing who or what we were before we got here, we live in drunken squalor and ignore our only child. And now some magus has caused people wearing Halloween costumes to become the costumes."

"So Rog and I are really a pair of old drunks? What happened to our careers? My god, I can remember all of it now. My poor boy…"

"I don't know, but we have to end this spell, since you are not truly Tony or Alex right now, you cannot wish me to do things, and there's no way I'm going to let Rory, I mean Roger, handle my bottle."

"Hey!"

"Oh! I know," Jeannie exclaimed, "I'll bring Alex's friend Willow here, and she might be able to tell us where the costumes are from, perhaps it's only some of them." She blinked and Willow appeared, ghost and body.

"What? Oh," the girl responded, realizing she was in the Harris home, and that here body was with her, "Ahhh!"

"It's okay, Willow," Jeanie told the girl, "We need your help, we need you to tell us if all the costumes have changed everybody, or just some."

"Oh, ah, well, I guess the kids with the S-Mart ones stayed the same, all I know is we got ours from a place called Ethan's."

"Hey!" exclaimed the former Major Healey, "Wasn't that that name of that mouthy kid who almost discovered Jeanie was a Jeannie, the one we threatened to tell his parents on for peeking in windows?"

"Oh! I remember, now," Tony said, "The one that picked up Jeannie's bottle and threw it at us…what did he say?"

"Oh, I remember," Jeannie sighed, "I wish by whatever Power is listening, you'd go the nearest point to Hell and forget you were ever here or ever knew me or anybody, better yet just stay that way as long as possible."

"And since he'd possessed the bottle last…"

"Here we are…" Jeannie continued, "Not a day older, but just the way he wished us, at the Hell Mouth and without pasts and we stayed that way."

"That little…" Roger Healey/Rory Harris began, making choking gestures, but Jeannie interrupted.

"Roger, do you really think someone around Alex's age really knew what he was doing?" Jeannie asked, Willow mesmerized by the whole thing.

"If he's the same kid, look what he's doing," 'Tony' responded, "But the important thing is we remember now, and need to help Alex. Willow, where's this Ethan's located?"

She told him, and Jeannie blinked.

Ethan had gloated to himself, the Chaos was wonderful, and it was only fifteen minutes into the spell, and the police radio reported several fires and pitched fighting between costumed figures.

Suddenly, his back room was full of people, including the body of the Slayer's friend who was now a ghost. But two of the others were a shock from the past, and the other vaguely familiar.

"What! How!" the Chaos mage cried out, finding his egress blocked.

"So it is you!" Roger exclaimed and hit him hard on the chin, knocking him back toward the bust of Janus, "End this you little bastard or I'll kill you!" And Ethan was hit again, before the man almost-comically tripped over the red-headed body.

"Why do you think it was me!" he exclaimed, then noticed the four unforgiving stares, the 'Major' pointing an M-16 at him. He gave up, sighing, "The bust, destroy it, and the spell will end." Roger reached over and threw it at the floor, ending the spell.

"Jeannie? I mean, mom?" Xander voiced, to have her turn to him in relief, "Can I make a wish?" She nodded, indicating the bottle.

"I wish Ethan would forget all about Sunnydale, is in the middle of the Siberian wilderness and is naked when he gets there." She blinked and the shopkeeper was gone.

"That may have been extreme, Alexander," his mother, still in harem attire, pointed out, "He could die."

"And how many would have died tonight because of him?" he countered quietly, watched as Rory got a drink for Willow on the other side of the room, then looked at his Mom. Quieter, "And I wish for the physical capabilities I had when the Hyena possessed me, but without the Spirit, so I can protect my friends." She blinked and he was physically boosted, muscles bursting and forcing him to remove the jacket of the uniform.

"That it?" she asked him, to receive a nod.

"Anything else would be cheating, but if you could please blink into 'mom' clothes…"

Yup, 'I Dream of Jeannie' of all things.


End file.
